humpday creepster

maybe i'm a prude, but i just don't like to think about strangers touching me.  like, the very first thought i have about someone is them putting their hands on me.  (that last sentence made my skin crawl.)

so i got this message and immediately filed it in the creepster bin:

"random question.... are you ticklish? :P"

 why?  is that something you're into guy-with-the-word-"tickle"-in-his-screen-name?  first of all, how is that random?  secondly, no!

humpday creepster

i'm not sure (and i really really hope) that i'll never get another creepster as creepy as last week.  the message this week, not gag inducing, but definitely odd:

"you are adorable... will you run away with me and see the world?"

i thought "seems cute, let's check the profile".  ew.  no, 41 year-old-man from honolulu hawaii.  how did you even find my profile when we're 3343 miles away from each other?  and why don't you have any pictures of yourself taken by other people? 


creepster.

humpday SUPER creepster

sometimes you don't need to analyze a message to see the creepiness (like we did last week).  sometimes it just takes one single word.  sometimes (read: all the time) that word is "intimately".

he said:

Hello,

I am very interested, and think you look amazing.

I am looking for a woman who likes to take charge - intimately... 

I am very genuine in this request.

If you are interested please send me an email and I can expand on this topic.

Thanks 

consider yourself blocked, creepster!

p.s. - i just threw up on my keyboard. 

and with this, i introduce to you "humpday creepster"

we've already covered how a well thought through message makes all the difference, but sometimes even if a guy puts some effort into it, it still doesn't work.  case in point - this guy...

Do you know what a man and a snowstorm have in common?
You never know how many inches you're going to get, or how long its going to last.

So tell me, oh great catch. Why are you single, and looking for a match? 

while creative and unique, this message just made me gag.  i'm gonna break it down for you, in case you can't see why this message is SO off-putting (you can though, right?  of course you can.  you're not a creep).

1. the opening joke.  depending on the situation, i may have laughed at this joke.  like in a bar.  on a second date.  and if it started off by him saying "i heard the WORST joke the other day...".  as an introduction, penis innuendo typically doesn't go over well.
2. the rhyme scheme.  "...catch...match"  gross.  cheese city!
3. the worst question EVER.  "why are you single...".  don't.  just don't ever ask that.  because it's the exact same as asking "what is wrong with you and why will no one love you?" (you'll see a full blown post on this at some point in the future). 
4. the photo.  yeah...that's a garter on his head.  he's a party animal...or something.

i'm curious if that line has ever worked on a girl before.  my guess is no.