excerpts from messages that didn't work

it seems that i've been getting an influx of really boring, fairly generic (and sometimes bordering on strange) messages recently.  see below for some excerpts that made me turn my head, squint my eyes and make a "hm" face:

1. "Hi there, you seem like a cool beans kind of gal." (you seem like a lame guy from the early 90s, #1.)
2. "What makes you happy? Specifics, please ..." (just read my profile.  that's why i filled it out.  to keep from having completely inane conversations.)
3. "I don't particularly enjoy food, and I have no fashion or style sense whatsoever, but I figured I'd email you regardless just to say hello."  (food and fashion are listed on my profile as the two most important things to me...)
4. "Hey, how's it going? I came across your profile and thought you seemed interesting and cute! If you'd like to talk some more, feel free to message me anytime!" (i bet that's what you say to all the girls, #4.  literally.)
5. "If you would ever like to link up for a beverage please feel free to message me! You seem like someone I could have a conversation with." (you seem like a robot, #5.)
6. "hi beautiful" (that's it?  you don't even give me punctuation, #6?)
7. "Hey how are ya? I'm ready to fall in love with you." (where #6 doesn't go far enough, this one goes waaaaaaaaay too far.  btw, that's all that was written.  no "wanna meet up" or anything. guess he thought that might make him seem creepy...)
8. "What's the craziest thing you have ever done?" (undoubtedly copy-and-pasted to every girl he liked.)
9. "How did you find the Box?!" (i honestly have no idea what this means. i'm completely perplexed.)
10. "Pete & Pete." (this is in reference to a song i have on my profile.  i guess he wanted to let me know that he knew what show it was from.  but nothing more.  that's all he wanted me to know.)

guys, take a note from katie's post to start writing messages that actually work.