one man's opinion

one of my dear friends, another who ventured into the precarious world of online dating, shared with me his thoughts after reading katie's last post.  below are his words:

I just read K's update on the blog regarding dating and OKC, entitled, "What Happened To Dating?" Good pondering on her part.  I think it sums up WHY I don't like online dating, and why I prefer, and stick to, "real life" dating. With online, it's so easy to meet and just kinda go out with people, and then just drop 'em, knowing that there are others on that site just waiting in line.  There is a certain... sterility to it.  

It's almost like arranged marriage, for dating:Let's check off all of these boxes: nice photos (where we all start), good job, good sense of humor, tall, short, skinny, shapely (whatever boxes you may or may not care about).  And then we decide if He/She is suitable enough to meet us in real life!  There's just no dowry at the end, but your mom probably still ends up crying.

I find it hard for that spark to hit in real life, let alone online.  I know it does work for some online, but maybe those two people had a real world chemistry and that's why they work. Not because they met online, just because all they had to do was meet and the rest took care of itself.

Like, when I go through a BIG break up, I usually take 9 months to 2 years to find the next "one".  I bet that in 9 months to 2 years of online dating, you might statistically and randomly meet a person that you would have that same spark with.  But I feel the cards have to be a bit more stacked against you online, because while the profile and chats all look well and good, you can't read intention over the internet.

Make sense?

I'm not saying it's bad, just my two cents on it.  There are lame guys (and girls) online and in "real life" settings, no doubt.  But maybe when one is going into online dating, the perception is that the man being online means he's fed up with meeting people the normal way and is now on there to find "The One" to settle down with, have kids, or just fall in love with.  When, in fact, they probably just want to spend a summer dating their guy friends and seeing girls on the side, they just didn't make a blog about it.

This isn't meant as a rebuttal to what K said, or an answer specifically, just related to her post... just what popped into my mind once I read her post.

Author's Note after agreeing to let Suzy post this:

I write this as a man who has tried online dating briefly at two times in his life for about 2 months at a time, the most recent being this summer.  I go on looking for someone special, not just wanting to date women like I'm firing buck-shot at the sea.  I always quit after a month or so because I randomly met the next serious girlfriend in a "real life" setting  (I like to say "Organically," but Suzy here hates the term).  I'm one of those guys who wants to settle down just a tad, have adventures with my wife, and then pile on a few kids when we're both ready.  Now I just gotta find her.

And if you're curious, he just met a great girl - about 9 months after his last breakup - in real life.