I went on several dates last week and when I would report back to Suzy, she would ask "How was it, 1-10?" and I would say, "Um. 6. Nice guy but....." and it didn't matter what that 'but' was - they were 6s. Which meant I maybe would go out with them again but probably shouldn't - for both of our sakes (boredom for me, false hope for the others).
I was in desperate need of a 10. With a date looming to make a "final exchange of belongings" with the ex, I needed to be reminded that 10s are out there.
And then Saturday night brought me a 12 and so I am here to tell you today the difference between a 6 and a 12.
A date with a 6
After several email exchanges and a follow-up call or text, you agree to go out. On a weekday because you kind of know he's going to be a 6 and Friday and Saturday nights are reserved for whatever it may be that you want to do - be that an 8+.
You arrive at a place that is familiar, you were just here last week with a girlfriend - maybe not the best place for a first date but maybe he's just not trying to blow your hair back or invest until he knows you're worth it. It's within walking/biking distance of your house.
You greet each other with either a handshake or that butt-out, half-way hug.
You order a drink - he's a gentleman so he pays.
A discussion about work, what do you do, where do you do it, how long you been doing it - that usually gets you through drink one.
You debate having another - especially since he's a nice guy and hasn't dropped any 'peeping tom' jokes, the word poop within the first 5 minutes or said that if your dog was attacked by a mountain lion, it would be a good day for the both of you (and yes, all of these have actually happened in my online dating life). You order drink number two.
By the time number two is finished, you know how many siblings he has, where he has traveled and whether or not you want to go out with him again. You're not sure (mostly because you feel that if you agree and the night rolls around, you'll be tempted to just stay in and watch 'The Voice').
So when it wraps and he picks up the bill, you smile and thank him and keep the plans open - maybe sometime next week or the week after? Work is kind of crazy.....
And you're home by 8. In sweats by 8:30 and back on OKC by 9.
A date with a 12
The possibility of a new message from him is what keeps you logging in to OKC three times a day. He's cute, the right age and his emails make you laugh. After an email that took you an hour to write, but sounded like it just rolled off your tongue - you two have a date. It's his birthday week so it's not just a date but a cause for celebration.
You arrive late, of course, because this is one you wouldn't want to be late for but since you agreed to a Saturday night date, you have a feeling you might tie one on and therefore leave your car parked safely at home and take the bus.
You spot him parked at the bar across the restaurant and he's already yackin' it up with the bartender and halfway through his first drink.
He greets you with a full hug as you launch into an apology, he tells you not to even worry - sit down, house margarita?
And of course you talk about what you both do, whether those siblings exist or not and what brought you to Colorado - but you're also laughing (what a concept!), telling stories and exchanging arm brushes. You're having FUN.
Before you know it, one drink has turned in to three and it's 10 p.m. but it's Saturday night so when he returns from the bathroom, you ask if he's up for another drink. He invites you to his next plan for the evening (because 12s are social like you).
The date turns in to an adventure the moment you walk out of your first meeting place. The night consists of tequila shots, a guy hitting on you, a run in with his ex leading to a slap across the face, a first kiss next to a shuffleboard table, a dog walk resulting in a bloody knee, spilled Moscow mules - all resulting in you waking up an hour late, rushing to somehow make yourself presentable for a brunch date with your girlfriend before an afternoon baseball game.
And yes, that smile across your face and the texts exchanged the next day make it all worth it.
That is a 12. And 12s are here to remind us that no matter what we had in our pasts - the next thing could be even better.
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